I was just sitting here contemplating how frustrated I am that I seem to have no continuity in my care. Each doctor is just cruising along thinking that he or she is making me all better. The truth is that I never have a good day anymore. Haven't in a long long time. Maybe a few days back in November. That is sad. And before that..I don't even know. So amidst all of my frustration I thought "wouldn't it be great if docs still made house calls?" That way I could arrange for them all to be here at once. Maybe between the 8 or so of them they could figure something out.
All of this makes me realize that I am just getting tired of it all. I think there is going to be a breaking point when I decide the all of the time and money it is costing me to try and get better is, in fact, only making my life worse. I am going to keep it up since I am already knee deep in it all. And because I am hoping to get my ssd. But if I don't, and nothing is happening right...I am going to just quit. How much worse could I be? I have no life as it is. I cant enjoy many things more than just sitting around and watching everyone else live life. I can do that with out all of the meds and trips all over creation to doctors offices and then the pharmacy to spend the money we don't have.
Blah. Frustration is so damn frustrating.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Hey Crunchy and fellow Chi-lover!
I am so sorry you are suffering so much and I hear your frustration; all the doctors can make you feel nutty; have you considered alternative medicine? I've been using it for years and have been med free for 6 years. I still suffer but I like being med free. I have a wholistic MD with a specialty in nutrition; I've used affirmations (see "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay); supplements, herbal remedies, homeopathic remedies; yoga; creative visualization; body psychotherapy; massage therapy; prayer and meditation, chiropratic; blood type diet etc. I use my Chi as a psych service animal for PTSD/panic attacks.
I can tell you more if you are interested in any of these approaches. The wholistic approach treats the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual bodies as intricately intertwined.
I've heard that only hams get cured and I am not pain free by any means but I know I'm better off because of wholistic medicine rather than traditional.
Just hang in there and keep trying different things.
Kat and Domino
Post a Comment